Saturday, September 12, 2009

Piles, Piles, EVERYWHERE

"Hi. I'm Jill. And I'm an addict."
"Hi Jill"
"It's been (looking at cell phone clock) 1 hour and 20 minutes since I created a pile."

Gasps of horror. One woman passes out cold. I wonder when I'll be able to leave the building, speed home, and ORGANIZE something, into a PILE.

Yes, sports fans, I am a piler. Add that to my sugar addiction and you get a FAST PILER.

I think this problem has been an issue all along, it just came in different forms when I was younger. Such as the fact that I had my books on a shelf, with a card catalog*, all arranged by the Dewey decimal system. I don't remember anybody ever checking out a book, but I was READY for the chance to be the Huber Library.

So, I've always been an organizer. The organization has just morphed over time.

I don't remember my first pile, but I can certainly look around my house and tell you about the ones that are the most current.

Right now, there are approximately 10,503 piles in this house. Among them:
1. Bills that need to be filed. At least two feet deep.

2. Credit card receipts for which we haven't received a bill. At least 150 of them.
3. Books and magazines. Unread, "I'll get to them soon", editions that are patiently collecting dust in my bedside table, on top of my desk, and in the driver's-side pockets of both cars.

4. Coupons. Oh, the coupons. They actually have a manila file-folder home, but they rarely seem to make it there before they expire. Which always make me wonder: why did I clip them to begin with?

5. Recipes. From soup to bread to desserts and beyond. I even have one buried somewhere that tells me how to boil eggs properly. If I made one recipe a day from the pile, I'd die trying.

I could go on naming the rest of my piles, but, frankly, I need the time to actually try to get them where they rightfully belong.

Seems to me there is a 50's-era-horror-story-"B"-movie wrapped up in my piles. They are big. They are prevalent. And they seem to be prolific. Kind of like too many rabbits in too small a cage with intense hormones and no supervision.

I'll get working on the manuscript right after I work on roping in this problem. But, before the piles take over this house and, ultimately, the planet.

How does the title "Bunny Piles from Beyond" work for ya?



*Index cards in a box.

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