Mommy's Day Massage (done by a professional, of course)

Over breakfast, on Mother's Day, we all got into a discussion about my upcoming massage. Now, mind you, it has been approximately thirteen years since my last massage* and I woke up at 6am ready to leave the house to make the 30 minute drive for my 2pm appointment.

So, back at the breakfast table, the discussion begins with a simple inquiry:

"Mommy, is a man or a woman going to do your massage?"

I quickly respond "I don't know."

(Brain wheels turning, breakfast kicking into bloodstream, questions forming....)

"Will you be naked?" (Geez, where do kids come UP with this stuff?)

"Well, yes, except for my panties."

To which my sweet baby responds "You can't do that! It's illegal for him to see your 'gina."

WHOA HORSEY! Did you just refer to my privates? You are THREE for crying out loud! Guess we should have had that "talk" with your older brothers out of earshot?!?

LATER THAT DAY...

Well, young Padawan, you'll be glad to know that a WOMAN did my massage and she didn't see anything untoward.

And, you sir, aren't allowed to use that word again until you are MARRIED!

*OK, more like 12 years...minus 2 divided by 5, but who is counting anyway?