Bathtubs and Beer

On occasion, I offer myself up to the survey industry to participate in some random "research" on the products of the future. At last count, I was on the books of three local and one national company, so I get fairly frequent communication asking me to send an email or call to see if I "qualify".

Here's an example of their emails:

THUMBCO, the company that sticks their digits in the air to figure out what the consumer will be buying next season, is looking for qualified women-folk between the ages of old and older*, to participate in a two-hour study, at our local office in a subpar office building off a major highway. We are looking for people who frequent WALMART. Tattoos, exposed thongs, and T-shirts with questionable slogans are not necessary, but are acceptable**. Please email THUMBCO@THUMBCO.COM or call 555-555-5555 to see if you qualify.

I thought I had ceased being amazed at the stuff being tested until I received an email asking for people who enjoyed taking baths and who drank beer. WHA???

I didn't put my name in the hat on this one. I just couldn't imagine the freak show I'd encounter in the waiting room if I was fortunate enough to be picked for this study.

I mean, really, what IS the connection here?

1. The last time I put those words in the same sentence, it was at a college frat party. The beer was being cooled in a bath of ice inside a tub. Can you say "Pass me a cold one? And all the germs that cause the flu and colds and athlete's foot?"

2. Beer and coolers go together. Bubbly goes with bathtubs. And the last time I had a glass of champagne in the bathtub was on my honeymoon. And, I'm sure as poo not going to discuss THAT with a group of strangers.

3. Maybe Coors is testing their new cans, with mountains that turn blue when the beer is sufficiently cool, in bathtubs. But, EW. Would I have to actually get IN a bathtub during this study to test this out? Double EW.

As you can tell, I try to put quite a bit of thought into whether or not it is worth the cash to actually go to one on one of these fun adventures.

The "B and B" study? Sorry. There just isn't enough beer in this world to make showing up for the study worthwhile.

Next!



*Yes, 30 to 40.

**Frankly, I love Walmart. I don't have tattoos, am not going to discuss my underwear, and the only T-shirt I will wear doesn't have a slogan, so I know I'm being a little stereotypical of small town Walmarts here.